Thursday, May 17, 2007

To be human...

In an effort to relieve myself
of worries, I keep aside in a shelf
my thoughts, my doubts, my relationships;
I live life stress-free, with a smile on my lips.
When I see others tensed, confused,
bothering about petty things, I feel amused,
smug about being untouched by anything.
Any bothering thoughts I can fling
onto that convenient shelf of mine, where
unattended, neglected thoughts yearn for care.
They cry, they whine, they stare at my face...
I choose to look away at a happier place.
My casual attitude and a non serious guise
are simply blatant, brazen lies;

And perhaps I have lost a part of myself
that lies hidden on that convenient shelf...

Piling on thoughts day after day,
The shelf one day might give way,
Scattered, the forgotten thoughts would lay...
And I would find the part of me gone astray,
to finish the jigsaw puzzle of myself.

Then my frozen heart could melt
touched by all the emotions felt:
Not only joy, but also to shed a tear
I could be spontaneous without fear.
Then I could worry, I could cry
My emotions could explode, as I would try
to get a grip over my emotional self
I would be happy to be human myself.

Delhi, 21.11.05

5 comments:

little boxes said...

nice nice...
really nice....
these kinda posts make u feel weirdly queasy...

Angika said...

I've read this earlier, but it reads differently now? You've made changes? Hmm.. It doesn't flow that well methinks. We'll discuss :P But I'm oh-so-familiar with that shelf. Wish I could pick it up and throw it at you :P

Oshombhober Chhondete said...

Well, Sujaan, very few poems have appealed to me as much as this one has. The reason is.....I identify so well with the narrator. Trust me, I am almost EXACTLY of a similar nature as has been portrayed here. And trust me, not only are very few people like this, but almost equally few understand such a nature in fellow "humans".

But then, the message of the poem is so like those who tell me that this is not an ideal way to go about. And I do not agree with them. My point is, if living life "completely" (which I allegedly do not do) means suffering pains, does it not make sense to live it "incompletely"? I mean, after all, it is my peace I am searching for. If I can successfully get hold of this "convenient shelf", why not make a good use of it? Even if that means "losing a part of me", it is that part which would have made me suffer. So, why bother?

I know I sound too harsh, but I think, end of the day, it does pay off. I am sure you would agree...

Oshombhober Chhondete said...

Firstly, what is a "blog comrade"? I don't know.

Secondly, as a response to your comment, that is EXACTLY what I am trying to say. Of course we are not living "fully", but who has ever said that there is anything wrong with that? After all, how mant things in life are "complete"? Ultimately it is the happiness that matters, isn't it? And then end of it all even you say you prefer it that way, so why worry......

And last but not the least, thanks for your comments.

sujaan said...

it might not give one full happiness unless one experiences emotional upheaval...there is a strange joy in feeling sad...