I took a paintbrush
And dabbed it in water,
With mild brushstrokes
I trailed it on paper;
And I drew a story
with Lines of water,
For more than colour
ethereal water feels safer;
Trails fade quickly
as water dries:
The patterns vanished
before my helpless eyes.
I stared at the paper;
it looked white for sure,
I searched for traces of lines
which could time endure;
A few wet trails
glistened in view,
Seen only from
skewed angles few.
If I let these lines fade in vain
An untold story would die in pain.
So I dashed in bold strokes of Red
And Through the water veins it spread...
A story with water cautiously made,
Red filled with life before it could fade
From a metaphor subtle and unsaid
It robustly radiated in red.
And dabbed it in water,
With mild brushstrokes
I trailed it on paper;
And I drew a story
with Lines of water,
For more than colour
ethereal water feels safer;
Trails fade quickly
as water dries:
The patterns vanished
before my helpless eyes.
I stared at the paper;
it looked white for sure,
I searched for traces of lines
which could time endure;
A few wet trails
glistened in view,
Seen only from
skewed angles few.
If I let these lines fade in vain
An untold story would die in pain.
So I dashed in bold strokes of Red
And Through the water veins it spread...
A story with water cautiously made,
Red filled with life before it could fade
From a metaphor subtle and unsaid
It robustly radiated in red.
17 comments:
Ur poems keep getting better :)
Nice, very original idea actually :) My paintbrush always has too much colour on it, barely diluted with water. Some people need Red, some people need Water :)
This one made me sad. I read it last night only and messaged you. I don't know if I interpreted it in your way. But, I was wondering that life is full of so many moments, both happy and sad. Sometimes i feel like erasing a part of the not-so-good times, but then I decide against it because if i erase it, I am erasing a part of my life... Life would be incomplete without those moments.
These were some of the thoughts which your poem induced.
Nice work Sujaan. May be the words and the rhyme could be better, but it is the thought that counts.
very novel concept...
and a lovely metaphor runs through the poem.
thnx :) everyone
@angika, ya true, though i've come to realize colour is more often than not a better idea...
@shazia, it's open to interpetation, i used water as a metaphor for weak intent, and weak intent often doesn't translate to result, painting with colour is doing things with resolve and intent...and then even if u fail, it's satisfying to have done wat u wanted...
painting with water could also be like building castles in the air...
ur way of looking at it is something i dint think of initially, but sure does make sense...
With every poem your writing skills mature.... I loved the painting too.. is that yours?
I liked the second stanza a lot...
In life so many different views and path we take.. some we remember some forgotten and still some seen only in angled view :)
@harish, thnx :) ya the picture is a part of one of my paintings + a little photoshop :D
very humble rhyming... very meaningful...
Thanks 4 adding me.I'll come back n comment on ur poem soon....I'm havinh\g my ISC exams.U did comment on my last post but I requested u 2 c my poem...that's my second post.Pls do so soon...I miss ur comments.
'If I let these lines fade in vain
An untold story would die in pain.
So I dashed in bold strokes of Red
And Through the water veins it spread...'
My favourite lines from this poem...
Thanks a lot sujaan for your precious comments on my poem and please do forgive me for the late acknowledgement as I was having my board exams...
I would be waiting for your comments on my new poem 'Mistress of The Sapphire Moon'...
Please do read the poem and comment on it...
Wishing you good luck!!!
Sourik
I take a bow!
On a dual level,this can be thought of the as the method of procreating a great piece of art.I wonder if you meant it all metaphorically.... a subtle smudge with words or a word portraiture.the brush becomes the pen and the colours are the words.
My exams got over 2day n c I kept my promise.now it's ur turn 2 comment on my poem.Also I would like 2 c more poems 4m u.And I would love 2 have ur response to my analytical thoughts on these.
Hope u r doing fine...Mr. Scientist.Lols.Have a nice day.
@deeptesh, i did mean it metaphorically...i generally have a low frequency of writing...coz i generally only write when i need to vent out something...
Oh well.there's a new poem on my blog...pls chk it out.
sahi hai bhai. quit tifr and take it up full time. Bahut talent hai bande mein.
very nice as always.. It made me introspect.. The Canvas of our lives have many more layers than what is revealed by the apparent colours that we choose to put on it.. there is always an untold story behind every story that we choose to tell others...
Really enjoyed reading it :)
this piece is so ethereal..
very airy and feel good.
Post a Comment